Loneliness

Loneliness is difficult, uncomfortable and frightening.

One can feel “empty”, even when in reality one's life appears "full". One can feel anxious reading signs that "something bad is going to happen".

Solitude paints reality in somber colors, making it difficult to envision the future, a future with prospects.

Loneliness presents itself in depression and sadness, and in more difficult situations - apathy.

Work on loneliness can be discharged in a flood of tears and sadness, which usually finds its origins in childhood, with a feeling of loss, abandonment, discrimination, violence and neglect.

One can feel like the work is never-ending, going back to early memories and sense of loss and sadness. It seems even an ocean of tears surging is not enough to release the distress of loneliness.

There is a therapeutic technique, we can call it "innovative" although it is grounded historically in psychology, in the form of philosophical statements like: “Think good, feel good”. “Smile at the world - the world will smile back at you”. Charity saves us from dying. Cast your bread upon the waters for after some time, it will come back to you.

These statements and many others based in different cultures tell us that in fact - act like you have everything, even if the feeling says "no". Rejoice over even the little that you have. Be optimistic.

If we adopt these statements and build them into our lives, we actually are fighting loneliness.

The theory says: Live in love. Love is the ultimate contradiction to solitude.

Here’s a simple technique: Make a list of words which we think love cannot exist without them, such as a smile, a hug, encouragement, generosity, forgiveness and so on. You can take these words and concepts in a session, adopt them as a way of life without depending on what you receive. We are good even when the world is hard and bad. We are good even when we get nothing in return. It’s good enough that we are good people. We are good because we choose to be good. Being good is a way of life. Live in love. Give even when it feels like you don’t have much to give. Keep a few coins within reach in your car or in your pocket, so you can offer them to someone seeking a handout wherever they are, at the intersection, in the street. When you give a coin, you can feel the sense that you've done a good deed.

Volunteer, contribute, be forgiving, let go of grudges. Find a good word to say to someone, even when they’re complaining. Offer kind words and encouragement even when no one offers them to you.

Best of all – when you find yourself complaining about the sadness, or lack of balance in your life, about the sense that you always give more than you get Tell yourself, “there is no room for complaints since they fall on deaf ears. It’s no use. If my presence in this world is to do my job well - I take it willingly and happily, I'll be the first to benefit.

From now on my expectations from those around me and for things like love, help, support, etc. will not be affected when I am disappointed. I will continue to give love, help and contribute, even when I get nothing back.

The above is validated when it comes to close relationships within the family.

And lo and behold - if you persevere and succeed - you'll feel better, stay away from the clouds of solitude. You will always be loved and admired - and after all, this is the goal of every single being.

 

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